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Joined: 3/12/2011
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A big part of my style is to have multiple storylines coming together as part of a greater whole. At times those parts are all told by the same character, but at different points in their life (e.g. flashbacks). Other times I'll have a POV character for each major storyline.
According to beta readers, my POV changeovers are erratic in terms of craft. Some are smooth, some are jarring. Some are clear, some are hard to follow. Really annoying was one where a switch was described as 'easy to follow, but jarring', and a later switch was 'smooth, but hard to follow'.
Are there any tips, techniques, or resources for the same that you guys know of for smooth yet effective POV switches?\
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Joined: 12/1/2011
Posts: 35
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There is another topic here regarding "head hopping" and the idea of breaking conventional PoV rules when it works well within the story.
I don't know any resources, but when I switch PoV within scenes I try to follow a simple pattern - PoV #1 eases into a 3rd person description, usually short, which then eases into PoV #2. To me this tends to feel more gradual and takes the reader easily between perspectives and I think it has a "natural" flow to it. Of course, the 2 reviewers who commented on my work both mentioned the PoV shifts as bad, but I am stubborn with certain things. Here's an example from Renascence of Pure Magic:
Kannon frowned at the back of his friend as they crossed the open space behind his family’s house, trying to decide – not for the first time – if it would be so bad if the relationship between Jerrell and his sister became more than coincidental friendship. He was a bit more than two years older than her, certainly not a great deal, but she had only weeks before celebrated her sixteenth year and he was not convinced that she was at all prepared for her to begin spending more than idle time with any boy, much less one whom he knew so well. Jerrell was conscientious, hard working, and generally congenial, sometimes egotistical and condescending, and clever to the point of uncanny intuition. The thought of anyone looking at his sister as a woman, not as the girl he had been caring for and raising since they came to Stonebridge and their father spent the majority of his time working both in the fields and on the big transport ships, since they left … “Hey, you alright?” Kannon looked up and realized that he had walked past the back porch to his home and was leaning absently against the stable fence. Conall, the oldest horse they owned, was nuzzling against his arm while Mica, the brilliant white yearling, gazed at his with large bright eyes. He scratched the old stallion on the bridge of its nose, eliciting a soft whinny of pleasure, and jogged quickly up to the back of his house, dismissing the curious look from Jerrell as he followed him inside.
The house was suffused with a medley of aromas, and as they took seats at the round table they were greeted with a large kettle of steaming tea that smelled faintly of jasmine, a loaf of warm bread baked with sweet berries and nuts, a bowl of fresh fruits, and strips of brazed pork glazed with honey and lemon. With large eyes and fast hands they tore into the food, and their laughter echoed through the house. They did not hear her creep up in the hallway outside the kitchen, smiling and watching as they devoured the food she had left out for them. She waited until their appetites slowed before she ventured to step into the room with them, opting instead to savor the sounds of their laugh and the joy infused in the warm and pleasant morning light. She was not shy, but years of concealing herself from strangers because of what her father called “prejudicial suspicion” caused her to move hesitantly when around anyone outside of her family, even when that someone was as trusted as Jerrell. She watched him from the shadow of the doorway for a while, large ginger eyes absorbing every movement, every playful swishing of hair and flashing of teeth as he smiled so wide it seemed to split his slender face.
When she shifted her pose and did step into the diffuse light – checking the high neck on her loose cotton blouse first – the laughter swelled again. Both boys stood away from the table, and Kannon wrapped his sister up in a massive hug, pressing her tightly against his stout chest. She never told him, but to her he smelled of freshly harvested wheat, sweet and earthy, much like her father, a scent she loved and knew she would always associate with her family. When he finally released her from his embrace she was breathless and happy, grinning broadly and brushing a stray copper hair from her face. “You didn’t have to go through all that trouble, Nett. But it was delicious.”
Still beaming, her hands flashed in a quick gesture. You’re welcome.
As I have said in other threads, I am "old-school" in many ways when it comes to the rules of writing, but I am learning - at least in part because of this site & all the wonderfully creative minds that come together here - that creativity and originality can mean breaking those rules. In this case, I try to separate PoV shifts into individual scenes, but I find that some head-hopping can really bring a subtley cinematic feel to a scene and heighten the impact it has on the readers.
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Joined: 4/30/2011
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Robert, I get what you mean. I too engage in multiple POV shifts that can seem jarring or abrupt. It's hard to make a smooth transition, especially if you have characters who think so different or view things differently. I found that trying to stick to a single character for a certain period of time or a certain place can make transitions smoother when you move into another scene. If it is a single event and you keep switching multiple characters, then I've noticed that people react to it much like the "shake" camera style seen in action movies. They don't like it because it's hard to follow.
As for flashbacks, I don't know what I can say about that. I never write a straight flashback myself. It's always a remembrance or a memory that is inserted into the scene. I use this technique in the first part of "Principium," and have gotten mostly good response saying that it was deftly done. (Only one complained, so I kept it.) A separate scene for flashbacks can be hard to follow for most readers, so I try to avoid them since I do many POV shifts in my novel anyway. As a general rule, I avoid POV shifts in short stories.
PureMagic, your section reads a lot more like 3rd person omniscient. You're characters don't actually have a specific point of view. It reads like there is a narrator telling the story to the reader. The reason why the people tell you that POV shifts are bad is because 3rd omniscient is a very hard POV to use. Most experienced writers avoid it because in the book selling business POV shifts like you use are signs of inexperience. You need to show that you can stick to a single point of view like 3rd limited, break, and then do another. Showing that you can stick to a single point of view, and getting your tenses right (something I need help with) is one of the fundamental building blocks of writing today. I'll take a look at the rest of your writing, but my first impression is that you can write great descriptive prose, yet it's undisciplined.
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Joined: 12/1/2011
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LeeAnna - yeah, I should have cut that differently. I do tend more towards the omniscient PoV, but it teeters back and forth to a limited as well. Perhaps I read the initial post wrong, but I did not get the feeling he meant any specific PoV, just the actual shifting. I utilize 1st person as well, but only when it is vital to the story.
Still, I should have selected that section better. That chapter is one that I am in the process of reworking for several reasons, I was just looking for a quick example of how my perspective character can shift. I do not use a lot of "I" phrases, even when I am close to a 1st person, but that it just a personal preference. As to being undisciplined . . . maybe, but I hope my writing reads like my mind works, and there are very few rules in there! Besides, the whole idea of shifting PoV within a scene violates a "rule" of writing, so I like to think that I just need to find a more effective way to break the rules!
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Joined: 3/12/2011
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The MS where I've had the most complaints about it was one where I got compliments on characterization.
Part of what I was trying to do with the first 'scene' in that novel (which was actually broken into three chapters with three to five scenes each) was to establish character early by showing the same scene from three different viewpoints.
All that said, I'm not shifting within a scene. I'm trying to accumulate ways to shift POV at the scene break in a distinct but non-jarring way.
Or maybe I just need to give it up and leave that jarring element in there?
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Joined: 8/21/2011
Posts: 394
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I think POV is a difficult skill to master all the way around. I had sent a very early draft of my work to a published author (a friend of a friend) who agreed to read sections of it and offer criticisms. The first thing she picked up on (and I completely missed) was the shifting POVs (very much like 3rd person omniscient, but not well done at all). When I sat down and reread the work with her comments in mind I was a bit chagrined at how frequently I had shifted the POV within a given section.
As part of the many rounds of revision, I've been trying to catch all these shifts and keep each individual scene from one character's perspective. If I feel the need to shift to another character's perspective in the same scene, I put a physical break in the text (a blank line), but for the most part, I try only to shift POV when changing scenes or when starting another chapter.
Robert - I haven't read your work yet, but just from my perspective, I think reading the same scene from 4 characters' POV shouldn't be labeled a problem, especially if there are breaks in the text and if your characters are developed enough so that the reader can tell he/she has shifted from one character to another. I'll have to take a look at it.
LeeAnna - I can't remember whether it was the Da Vinci Code or Angels & Demons, but one of them shifted POV within some sections with each line of dialog. I found it maddening, to be perfectly honest. I haven't read a book with 3rd person omniscient POV in so long, that I found it jarring and unsettling. WAY too much "mind-hopping" for my taste!
PureMagic - I agree with LeeAnna - you have some beautiful descriptive prose.
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Joined: 4/27/2011
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It's interesting how we all handle this. In the passage you cited above, PureMagic, I would have handled POV one of two ways: (1) by staying in third-person omniscient (which I think you did, by the way); or, if that wasn’t desired because it wouldn’t work here for what you’re going for—close reader identification with each “spotlighted” character—then (2) I’d pull a quick film-like jump-cut to stay with a tighter, 3rd-person limited focus on each critical character, as follows: …………………..
Kannon . . . jogged quickly up . . . to his house and followed Jerrell inside. ***
She crept up in the hallway outside the kitchen, peering through the doorway at the tableful of strange men raucously devouring warm baked bread with sweet berries and nuts, fresh fruits and brazed pork glazed with honey and lemon . . . (And then go into some 3rd-person limited thoughts, experential expereinces, etc. This is still 3rd-person omni here.) ***
……………………….
Something like that. I try not to head-hop within a scene, although interestingly enough the few times I’ve written very vivid, descriptive interactions between two or more characters I’ve been accused of head-hopping—though I never got into any one particular character’s consciousness in those instances but merely described them so well that the reader thought I did. Which I took as a compliment, by the way. ……………………..
Side note: You’re going to get all kinds of criticism on Book Country and not every reviewer understands the techniques they’re criticizing; some—blessedly very few—are merely popping off like string-pulled talking dolls when they sight with their beady-beady eyes a passage of text they think those who have criticized them might proffer to you if they were here:
“Show, don’t tell!” (Though you’re writing a transition to collapse time and keep the forward momentum of the narrative going.)
“Use less adjectives and vivid descriptive words!” (Why? If the writer tells me the nazi guard “ . . . raised his broom-handled Mauser in the shadowy gloom of the ancient Canaanite temple and sighted in on the eight-armed, emerald-orbed idol stirring to life before him,” I get a much clearer idea of what you’re picturing as you write the scene than “the nazi guard raised his gun and sighted in on the idol in the dark.”)
“The writer’s job is to . . .” (Ah, how I love the proscriptive, dogmatic critic!—usually the most educated and well-read of your reviewers—who will begin castigating you because you didn’t follow their script for how a story should be written and characters behave, in each and every instance. What they usually mean is that you’ve written a story with thematic material, tone and subtext quite different from what they were expecting/hoping from you.)
But I’ve hijacked your thread; sorry!
POV is very, very tricky when you’ve trying to describe a situation or event from multiple characters’ tight 3rd-person limited POV. I’m not sure there are any perfect answers, merely certain techniques different writers grow accustomed to using because they’re confident in their employment and satisfied with the results.
PS. What LeeAnna is saying there about your passage sounding as if it’s narrated; hence 3rd-person omniscient, is correct. You’re telling us what Kannon is thinking: “Kannon frowned . . . trying to decide blah blah blah.” That’s not wrong; it just “is what is.”
3rd-person limited would sound much more like this: (hardly deathless prose and a complete mash-up of your story elements but for illustrative purposes only): ………………………. Kannon frowned as they crossed the open space behind his family’s house. Would it be so bad if the relationship between Jerrell and his sister became more than friendship? A rush of hot blood accelerated his heart beat; his focus narrowed to the grassy field and worn flagstone steps leading up to the back door of the house. Easy, he thought to himself, easy now. Mustn’t lose it. I’m being over-protective; that’s all. The prototypical over-bearing, interfering Big Brother who thinks he knows what’s best for sis. Mustn’t do that to Nora . . . ………………………… See the difference there? Hope this impertinence on my part (butchering your prose for purposes of illustration) helps. And as ever, good luck on the writing!
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Joined: 3/12/2011
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Angela - Right now the one where I opened with one scene from three character's POV isn't visible - it's on an editor's desk, and my fingers are crossed waiting to hear back.
To give you an idea what I did, however:
I wrote the scene from the title character's POV, which is at the center of the action and a very staccato, action packed voice. I wanted to give the character a 'if nothing is happening, I'm not paying attention, so we'll skip those moments' vibe.
The next chapter was the same scene from the faux-antagonists POV (it's complicated). Her sequences have a lot of flashbacks to how she got where she is, even as she's engaged in fairly intense (but slow, ergo slightly boring) physical activity. I wanted her to have a pensive, 'looking backward' feel.
The third chapter is from the 'love interest's' POV. Her sequences are full of internal dialogue and carefully planned actions. I wanted her to feel meticulous, someone who is always thinking about what comes next.
Most of my readers got the character differentiation, but felt the chapter breaks were really jarring as I moved from one character to another. Some of them didn't notice any jarring at chapter breaks, but didn't realize teh POV had changed.
Hmm... I might be able to email you the first few, if you'd like...
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Joined: 4/27/2011
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@Angela: Excessive head-hopping is one of the sins all of us are guilty of, at one time or another. I certainly was until I became conscious of it.
@Robert: Good luck with your manuscript! Let's hope it's a sale.
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Joined: 8/21/2011
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Robert - Based on the way you described the chapters, I think they would work. It sounds like you have three very distinct character voices. And I like the idea of getting multiple characters' perspective on an event. The few times I've been a juror has taught me that no two people (let alone 12!) experience/interpret/perceive an event or series of events in exactly the same way. Heck, the fact that the manuscript is on an editor's desk tells me someone thinks your writing works! Tell you what, when the book is published, shout it out loudly on this site so I can get a copy. 
Carl - Once I became aware of excessive head-hopping (there's something about that phrase. . .), I became overly aware. (Same thing happened when I went through my manuscript looking for crutch words and phrases!)
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Joined: 4/30/2011
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Angela, Ursula K Le Guin does 3rd omniscient well. In some of her short stories. It's great when done, but I still suggest using it never. It can be so bad.
Thanks for the assist, Carl. PureMagic, he pretty much clarified what I was trying to say. I still suggest using one type of perspective the entire book. Even though we want to write what we want to write, if you plan on selling or marketing your work to anyone, you need to show them that you know what you're doing. Not only that, 3rd limited done right can have a much greater impact.
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Joined: 4/27/2011
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Re: the phrase "excessive head-hopping": Heh! I see what you did there, Angela. 
But I do know what you're saying about becoming hyper, almost painfully aware of certain failings and short-comings in our own writing. W/O hijacking Robert's thread again (Sorry, good fellow! Got to review you soon!) I'll simply confess that whenever I'm called out for committing one perceived literary sin or another I tend to write with surly growls the next time I commit those "sins". (Let 'em pounce all over this with an 'Ah-ha! Excessive adjectivation!')
@LeeAnna: Good call and helpful commentary there! Now let's fight about about your opinion of Avatar, one of the greatest sci-fi films ever made.
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Joined: 3/12/2011
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@Carl - No worries - good discussion all around. Also... Avatar? Really? Un-ob-f'ing-tanium?
@Leanna - If I get an offer, you *know* I'm shouting it out everywhere I can.
@PureMagic - Since I read your sample, I've been thinking. In one of my pubbed books I do something similar - I start a scene from one character's POV, then do a scene break and finish it from another. I think that type of thing might work for you. Split the scene, do one part from one close 3rd POV, then do the other from the other. Just my 2c, YMMV.
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Joined: 4/27/2011
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@Robert & LeeAnna: re: Avatar: Just engaging in a bit of over-the-top hyperbole there. Though I'll take Avatar over any of George Lucas's Star Wars sequel-prequel feet-smells. Great sci-fi films? Blade Runner, Forbidden Planet and Rod Serling's Planet of the Apes, to name but three. Those last two are a bit cheesy but hey!--I loves me some cheddar and Monterey Jack.
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• Kannon frowned at the back of his friend as they crossed the open space behind his family’s house, trying to decide – not for the first time – if it would be so bad if the relationship between Jerrell and his sister became more than coincidental friendship.
I know this isn’t something you want to hear, but you never change POV. It’s always the narrator’s. You, personally are telling the story as if the reader was with you, rather than placing the reader on the scene where the action takes place. Yes, you talk about several different people as focus characters. And yes, you tell the reader how the person feels about others, but as a report, presented in an author-centric, not character-centric way. It’s not that person responding to something within the scene that motivated them to think or act that way.
In other words, you’re explaining. Sorry.
- - - - - - -
In general, it’s best not to change POV within a scene because you can show the other person’s reactions and emotions as observations by the POV character. For example: His nostrils flared. As she spoke she shredded her napkin. As he said it he refused to meet my eyes. Etc.
When you do change POV within a scene it’s best to show it immediately, via a reaction to something, so we know the POV has changed. You also can switch the personal pronoun, and the person who has been Paul now becomes “he.” You can show a break with a white space between the old and new POV.
But whatever you use the reader should understand and concur that the POV change was necessary.
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Joined: 4/30/2011
Posts: 662
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Seriously, Carl. You just had to bring up that pretentious garbage Avatar. Now I must take deep breaths to keep my veins from popping out of my forehead. How that got nominated next to District 9 for Best Picture, a far superior sci fi film made for a tenth of the money, is beyond me. It's like I always say, just because it's popular doesn't mean it's good. And you're right about the Star Wars prequels. They were pretty awful and ruined a great villain. I'm with Simon Pegg on those movies, it was time to burn all your memorabilia. (If you haven't seen Spaced, see it now.)
Mini-rant over. Now I'm done being off topic.
Angela, it is true that hyperawareness takes over. When this happens I remember my figure drawing instructor ripping my paper out from under me with a firm exclamation of, "You're done." Then she handed me a new one to see if I had learned not to get caught up in the details.
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Joined: 12/1/2011
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Firstly - thanks for all the comments & advice. I posted that bit (from an older version of a chapter which is undergoing an extensive re-write) hoping to show something different. Then I checked back into this thread & feel like I nearly hijacked it! That was never my intention Robert, so I hope that all the comments directed at me help you as well.
Secondly - I just have to weigh in on the sci-fi movie talk. Avatar is a steaming pile of feces covered with an almost bulletproof-thick layer of glitter. I have taken to calling it Dances with Aliens, but that is degrading to the original film. The Star Wars prequels . . . what can I say, I did not hate them. They were entertaining despite major flaws, and while Lucas did manage to destroy one of the greatest villains of all time with one scene, he did turn Obi-Wan into the greater hero he deserved to be. As far as the best, you don't need to look much further than Blade Runner, Star Wars, Alien, & Metropolis in my book.
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Joined: 4/30/2011
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Sorry, Pure. I have to say that I do not consider Star Wars science fiction. It is more fantasy with the trappings of sci fi than an exploratory look at human nature and our various flaws that usually makes up good science fiction. It has far more in common with Lord of the Rings than Star Trek for clarification. I would give you examples, but that is not what this thread is about.
As for the subject of POV: Pure, if you are going to start trying to define your different character point of views, I have some formating information for you. Between the two sections of character A and/or character B, put two spaces, not one. This is called a double m break. It can be defined by asterisks or other various symbols, but those aren't necessarily needed. Also, do not indent the first paragraph of a new section. I don't know if you know this, but it is something that everyone who wants to submit their stuff should know. I should also say that I frequently screwed up the no indent thing.
Oh, yes. Hijacking of threads are common, especially if someone needs help. Don't feel bad.
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Joined: 3/12/2011
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Pure - No worries on the hijack thing. I've gotten some useful info, and my actual question was pretty narrow focused.
LeeAnna - You're right; Star Wars might qualify as Space Opera, but for the most part it's a Fantasy *in space*. My friends and and I have discussed that one a lot. Sadly, original Trek isn't Sci Fi either - it's a Western *in space*. Still, as an inclusionist, I'll claim both of them for the greater glory of Sci Fi.
Also, I generally use the *** as a POV and scene break.
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Joined: 12/1/2011
Posts: 35
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LeeAnna & Robert - yes, I do use the double break to differentiate sections. In the name of "write what you like," I tend to avoid section breaks when possible. Anyone who had read my stuff might scoff at that comment, since some chapters have as many as 5 sections in them, but I am writing as I think it will be the best. I am certain that should this behemoth of a story ever end up in the hands of an editor, some sections will become separate chapters.
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Joined: 4/30/2011
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Robert, that is true about the original ST being a Western in space, but it does have quite a bit of 60s political commentary, so you could totally sneak it in the sci fi category. I won't say anything.
Hey Pure, you could just avoid using section breaks and make them all chapters from the get go. I've seen it done many times. And yes, I know what it means to have a story that never ends. Hands of Ash is just the tip of the ice burg. I've got enough material for at minimum 5 books.
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Joined: 3/12/2011
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@LeeAnna - (self-hijack imminent) Kinda weird, really. I eat up series. Every reader I know eats up series. Yet a book that sets up a series is really hard to sell, while a book that has to have a series bolted on is easy.
Why is that, do you think?
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Joined: 8/21/2011
Posts: 394
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I'm with you, Robert - I love series (tend to be most of what I read). They give me the chance to spend more time in worlds I love with characters I'm fond of. Another book in the Foreigner series? Bring it on!
As to why a book that sets up a series is a hard sell - I think it's because publishers see it as a risk. What if they publish the first book of a series and it doesn't sell? Then again, every book a publishing house chooses to produce is a gamble. So, unless the publisher jumped the gun and bought the rights to all the forthcoming books in a series, I don't see where the risk is exactly.
Back to switching POV - I use visual breaks within chapters: either an extra line of space when switching POV within the same scene or sequence or a set of asterisks (*****) when switching scenes and POV. I try not to use more than two characters' perspectives in any given chapter. For more substantial shifts (different locations, time periods, etc.), I'll start another chapter.
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Joined: 4/30/2011
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Robert, what may end up being my first two books (maybe three) was originally planned to be one book. Even with all the cuts it was still to long to keep it all together. And honestly, the more research I do, I'm thinking of going the self publishing route with my novels. I have all the time in the world to market myself, so it's worth a shot.
I have theory as to why they don't sell. Publishers don't want to take the risk because the first book might not sell. If they have a contract for a series that isn't selling, they loose money. From a writer's perspective, series that are just tacked on to a book that rounds its self out bug me. From a business perspective, it makes sense.
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Joined: 8/21/2011
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Just finished re-reading a book by one of my favorite authors (urban fantasy). Almost every character has chapters or sections of chapters told from his or her point of view. And the different POVs were clearly marked with some blank space between the sections - until about half way through the book when POVs were switching from paragraph to paragraph and sometimes from sentence to sentence.
When I had read the book a few years ago, this constant head-hopping didn't really phase me ( I probably wasn't as aware of it as I am now thanks to Book Country and some critiques I had gotten on my work before I joined this site), but as I was reading it this time, I found it, at times, jarring, disorienting, and, in some cases where the characters' voices weren't all that different, downright confusing (at least momentarily).
That said, however, the abrupt POV switches happened during the last quarter or so of the book when all the characters' story lines were rapidly coming together. So, in a sense, it worked and added to the frenzied pace of the last few chapters. But I still think the story would have been just as engaging if the author had kept to one character's POV per section and, quite frankly, if he had not gotten into the head of almost every character (I think there were at least 12 POVs).
The Song of Ice and Fire series has oodles of POVs but Martin restricts each chapter to one character's POV.
Just wondering what folks think about that many character POVs meshed together that rapidly.
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Joined: 3/12/2011
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Martin does it in a very 'close one chapter, open the next' style, often with a time gap between chapters. When doing moment-by-moment head hopping, in my personal opinion you need some kind of divider, especially when the POVs are decidedly similar. If there's something really distinctive about them, like differing language, or font, or something really clear, it can work anyhow, but otherwise? You get confusion.
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Joined: 1/10/2012
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Hi everyone. I'm sitting in front of my document tonight scratching my head over POV, and found this thread. LeeAnna has been nice enough to warn me about changing POVs within a scene, chapter or story, but right now, with the skills I have (forgetting about the many I have yet to learn and master), I can't seem to get away from changing the POV from my MC to another MC in the same scene. It's driving me nuts, frankly. The two people have met before, they're enemies, but for the first time, one touches the other and things literally happen. There's action and internal goings-on that I really feel strongly about. It needs to be experienced on both sides. So do I just insert a break? I'd be happy to include all of the text here, but that would be really long and I don't want to torture anyone. Please help!!
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Joined: 3/12/2011
Posts: 376
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You CAN definitely switch POV mid-scene, but you NEED to put in a 'scene divider'. From a storytelling perspective, it's one scene, but from a formatting perspective, it's two scenes.
I can send you an example from something I did, if you like, and you can see how I did it. I'm not saying I'm uber-POV-switch guy, but in that one instance, I did it well enough for my editors to go for it without any questions.
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Switching POV within a scene is possible, with several provisos.
1. If the present POV character can tell what the other character is thinking via nonverbal means or deduction there’s no need to change because it can be presented through the current POV character:
Her nostrils flared, and she…he shook his head, anger suffusing his face as…he stepped back from Charlie, who was obviously at the point of no return, and would soon…
2. If we know he wants to kill her, and switch to learn that she wants to kill him, why read on? All that’s left are the mechanical details of the plot. In life we get only our own POV and what we can deduce. Taking us backstage shouldn’t be done for gossip purposes, or so the reader knows little details of the plot that don't really matter.
3. If you do change POV, immediately present something that lets the reader know we’re in the new POV. A white-space break is a good idea to show a break in flow. But over and above that, take the reader into the POV character’s head immediately. Begin referring to the old POV character by name, and the new one as he or she, after the initial POV identification.
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Joined: 6/14/2012
Posts: 194
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I've written several series that have multiple POV characters (warning--12 major and several minor POV characters, wandering around multiple star systems in different ships, are pure H*LL to keep track of and handle the transitions between, and keep the chronology in order. Don't do that.)
Some editors didn't mind my putting two POV sections in one chapter; some insisted on a separate chapter per POV, no matter its length. Whichever way you do it, keeping the reader oriented to person, place, and time is crucial to keeping readers attached to the story.
POV changes count as major transitions, and always need to be marked by strong hints--that line break, for instance, plus an immediate unmistakeable clue that you're in someone else's head. Changes from internal to external (3rd person to omniscient) are "softer" and easier for readers to catch than internal to internal. Most difficult for readers is the switch between people in the same place at the same time--switching to another location or time makes changing POV logical, in part because you're going to cue that temporal or spatial transition. Adjust markers for the difficulty--more for the hardest, fewer for the easiest.
The markers you have available include POV's name, POV's title if any, POV's description, line break, section break with typographical marker, chapter break.
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Joined: 1/10/2012
Posts: 192
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This has all been so helpful. In the end, I opted to do a POV change and did the breaks people suggested. I think it flows well, but I guess you all will be the judge of that.
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Joined: 7/1/2012
Posts: 2
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I have had feedback from an agent and two senior editors with different publishing houses. Their comments all centered around POV. To be honest, I think my stories progress better with changes in the POV of my hero and heroine within some scenes. However, in order to please the experts, I now place a page break between the changes in POV. That seems to pass muster. Always a learning experience!
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