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Joined: 4/3/2011
Posts: 66
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My spouse is waiting to read my Romantic ,if it ever finds a home. Funny thing is he is a manly man and that out of all the other genres I write is the only one he wants to read. I am taking his man card.
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Joined: 4/2/2011
Posts: 5
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My husband is hugely supportive of my writing. You couldn't ask for a better partner. Long before I published, he would let me spend any amount of money going to conventions and workshops. He never complained about me driving hours to go to writer's group meetings. He always insists that I have the newest and best computer equipment and software.
He's never read anything I've written.
I can get anyone to read for me, but the emotional and financial stability, I can only get from him.
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Joined: 3/4/2011
Posts: 15
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I'm married to a writer with twenty more years of experience than me. I call him my Built-in-Editor. We share everything with each other and because we know each other so well, we're able to give critiques that are constructive and useful. I absolutely love it.
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Joined: 3/30/2011
Posts: 4
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Always. Whatever she'll read.
I've written 3 books os far and she's read every one and given me a bunch of good commentary. She's not a write but gives me more of a woman on the street perspective that I need.
I honestly feel sorry for the folks who've commented that their S.O.'s won't read their work or they won't show it to them. I guess this come from believing that we need to be able to hear all the criticisms we get and use what we can from all of them. It's like being able to be naked in front of them, for me. Err, in front of my wife. Not yours or your husbands. 
One of the best critics of my stuff is my dad who is almsot pathologically against fiction except for Agatha Christie. He's read mys tuff and even given extensive detailed notes. Go Dad Go!
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Joined: 2/27/2011
Posts: 9
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@changt I am impressed that your father is one of your best readers -- having a parent read one's fiction can be even more threatening / emotional than having one's SO read. Do others in the discussion share their work with their parents? Do you worry about elements in your fiction that are based on your family life will offend? And lastly @changt, how does your father feel that you stack up against Ms. Christie? Smile.
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Joined: 2/27/2011
Posts: 9
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Oh I see that @mumbleduck also shares her work with her father rather than her SO. Interested to hear from others as well about whether parents can be good readers or whether it's too treacherous emotionally...
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@Molly
My Mom has been my beta reader since I was 16! Before I met my wife, she was the first person to read my manuscripts. She has always been one of my careful readers, letting me know what she liked and didn't think worked. I think that a couple of times story elements hit a little too close to home, and she tells me when it has, but she still gives me useful criticism.
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Joined: 5/12/2011
Posts: 240
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My partner is mostly useless for helpful feedback because she thinks everything I do is dripping with gold. That's nice and all, but not so great for spotting needed changes.
What she is useful for is listening to me read aloud. I find reading aloud to be a great revision tool, but it's hard to do it just to myself. If I read her a chapter every evening before bed, she enjoys the story, stays in touch with what I'm working on and I catch all those little problems that don't show up until you speak them aloud.
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Joined: 5/29/2011
Posts: 1
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My partner is extremely supportive of my writing, but doesn't actually want to read any of it. I think he's afraid that he won't like it, and won't want to tell me so. However, he goes out of his way to support the act of writing, and is happy to talk out any plot and character issues, hypothetical situations or any other points that have me stuck. It may be that the fun for him isn't so much in what's on the page as it is in watching my gears turn.
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Joined: 2/27/2011
Posts: 9
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Gabrielle,
I think your partner's behavior is terrific -- supporting the act of writing while giving you space and privacy. My partner is a visual artist and I strive for the model that your partner has set -- respecting the act, being open to discussion of it, but maintaining some distance so that I don't get in the middle of his creative process.
Molly
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Joined: 3/10/2011
Posts: 6
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My husband doesn't "do" romance, but has ended up helping me plot my three book series! He's great at helping me understand the villain, iron out paranormal characters and abilities, and eliminate plot holes. He has read my work, but he's much better as a sounding board for plot ideas.
This is a neat conversation. It's great to hear how other's spouses support each other.
Gina
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Joined: 5/10/2011
Posts: 69
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I share everything I write with my hubbs! He is super supportive I trust him entirely, and I know he is 100% in my corner, so he is the safest first audience I could have. We think completely differently- kind of a right brain vs. left brain kind of thing- so he points out things I just might not see. He prefers to read sci-fi and writes fantasy, but manages to give me great insight in character development and is also especially helpful with dialogue. He knows my speech habits/patterns better than anyone so he recognizes if I start to sound like *me* instead of a character. He certainly isn't a professional editor, but for an initial critique and as a sounding board, he is fantastic.
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Joined: 1/9/2012
Posts: 67
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Interesting thread. I normally don't share anything with anybody until the first draft is written. But if I hit a road block, I will occasionally ask my wife what she would do if she were in that situation. As my novel Dead Switch is a thriller, her being a criminologist also came in handy. Balancing writing and family is difficult, but it makes it easier when you can involve your spouse.
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Joined: 2/25/2012
Posts: 20
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My boyfriend likes to read over some things of mine, but I try to be certain it's up to a fairly polished draft first. I'm a chronically nervous writer, and letting anyone I know read my stories is like pulling teeth. It helps that he knows how to deliver criticism, though--I think that goes for anyone, really. Constructive criticism and praise makes me want to write more, so I try to select a fair jury--I'm happy he can be part of it.
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Joined: 1/24/2012
Posts: 7
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My wife is very supportive, but I haven't asked her to read anything nor bounced any ideas off of her. I think the issue is more my lack of self-confidence in the story or in the showing.
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Joined: 1/10/2012
Posts: 192
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This is a great topic, Molly! Actually, I had my husband read my fantasy short story (an earlier version of what I posted here) and he said he liked it. I think he might have been a bit too afraid to suggest edits, even though he's fantastic with that stuff. So, I probably won't share my other work with him until it's at least finished...and maybe I have an agent and editor, at least. It would be a great way to surprise him!
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Joined: 2/27/2011
Posts: 353
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What about sharing with family members (mom, brother, sister, your kids)?
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Joined: 11/17/2011
Posts: 26
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I let my sister read my work and got no end of slack from my grandmother until I sent some stuff to her. My sister and I read in the same genre and though she doesnt write too offten she gives fantastic feedback. My grandmother on the other hand thinks my stuff is the greatest thing since sliced bread and never hesitates to remind me. But I think we all need that one person who thinks our writing is fantastic no matter what.
On the other hand I would never ever never let my mother read anything until it was published, she is highly critical and very free with thoese criticisms, but not in a helpful way.
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Joined: 4/1/2012
Posts: 2
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I once asked my husband to read what I had. I found out quickely that his responce was dull, and unhelpful. He confessed that he didn't have a broad vocabulary and felt lost from the begining.
Since he is not big on reading anythings more than what you would find in a hunting or dairy farming magazine, his feedback was terrible. His responce involves things like, "You're writing about me aren't you?" My answer is, "no, but I can rectify that if you'd like?"
But, I will ask him questions on things he knows, to add into my writing. This boosts his manly ego.
So keeping his eyes away from my computer but still asking him questions helps his pride and the outcome of my made up story.
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Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 69
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It actually depends on the work in progress. Some of my writing is just not interesting enough for my husband to get into so I save those for people that like them.
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Joined: 1/9/2012
Posts: 22
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As far as my husband goes - absolutely not. We don't read similar things at all - basically we just agree to disgree.
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Joined: 4/22/2012
Posts: 175
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My husband is super sweet about letting me talk through plot/character issues with him (most of the time he doesn't even need to respond or give feedback - I just need to be able to hear myself talk so I can figure out where I'm going). However, he's decidedly not a fan of m/m romance, so he refused from the beginning to read through my drafts past a certain point - and that's fine with me, because if it's not his cup of tea, I know I won't get helpful constructive criticism to make it better. I'd rather share my writing with my best friend, who is a fan of the genre and will be able to give me honest feedback from a reader's perspective.
It used to be that I wouldn't share anything with anyone until I was finished with it - but then it turned out that that was just giving me an excuse to never finish anything. Now that I'm a little older, I find that it's more helpful to get a little ways into the piece, then hand it over to someone for beta reading and editing. If it's someone who likes the story/genre, I'll be motivated to keep churning out pages because they'll bug me for more!
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Joined: 2/27/2011
Posts: 353
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Bumping this up!
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Joined: 2/9/2012
Posts: 427
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Hey Nicki,
This sounds great! It's good to share with your romantic partner, but there might be hurt feelings and misunderstanding if he/she is not well-versed in the genre you're writing in! I feel like talking about your work is a happy medium because it is a good way to reflect about it, even if one's partner doesn't have anything super constructive to say. Kind of like a talking cure...
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Joined: 4/22/2012
Posts: 175
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Nevena, thanks for the response. That's totally how I feel about it. Sometimes I wish he were more interested, because I'd like to be able to run a chapter past him and get feedback, but I'm so glad for all of the support he does give me. And he's absolutely not put off about my choice of genre, either - he's happy to tell people that I write gay romance and that someday he expects that I'll make millions from it. ;P
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Joined: 8/22/2011
Posts: 14
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Ha not only do I share my work with my boyfriend - I read it out loud to him! It is really helpful for me to read it out loud because I get a better feel for the dialogue and can tell if the pacing is off. We have a little routine- I try and write every day and then in the evening I'll read what I wrote that day. He is super supportive and tells me what he likes, doesn't like, what made sense, what was surprising. Added bonus is it gets me more excited about the story- sometimes after I've read a bit out loud it will inspire me to dive back in and write more. He will also go back and read large sections and give me feedback that way.
I also share my writing with my critique partner and my mom- but not as frequently as I do with my boyfriend.
Interesting topic!
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I like that my partner can look at my writing and not blow sunshine in my face - if something is wrong, he lets me know so I can fix it. That's what I expect from anyone who critiques my work.
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Joined: 4/22/2012
Posts: 175
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Aw, Meg, that's a shame. My husband loves to read - just not gay erotica. ;P (Though he's presently sitting on the couch reading through my ms during commercial breaks from The Mentalist - such a trooper!)
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Joined: 6/18/2012
Posts: 228
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I was just having this conversation with a writer over private message. He noted that his spouse gave him really loving, adoring feedback (albeit not constructive). His mother was the one who told it to him straight. Anyone else share their work with a romantic partner and a parent?
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Joined: 9/26/2013
Posts: 8
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I'd love my husband's feedback, but can't get him to read. He said he's waiting until he gets a print copy in-hand. Considering the odds of getting published to print, he may be waiting for a while.
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In the final analysis, the only opinions that matter are those expressed by our readers. Trolling for encomiums among friends and family will garner mostly flowery opinions that will never serve to improve our writing skills. "Talking" your book out will castrate its soul. Like it or not, no novel worth its salt was ever produced by a committee. The art of writing is a lonely journey, an act of ripping our very essence from its moorings. We want honest encouragement? Seek it in the masters of yore who have left a legacy of great writing, and among the great contemporary masters who are creating new legacies for future generations.. When we ask our spouses what they thinks of our stories, its like asking them what they think of our new dress or tie, or if we lost weight. What can they say? How many of us can handle the unvarnished truth? Moreover, what is truth? For better or worse, the internet has provided a backyard fence over which cybernetic neighbors can gab endlessly, where opinions fly freely, but where objectivity remains ever elusive in the gossamer web of camaraderie. After the cheerful banter has abated, we repair to our lonely rooms and, in bursts of both sorrow and joy, dare to perform one of the most daunting chores ever conjured from the creative soul of humankind. Writing
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Joined: 11/17/2011
Posts: 1016
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Hell, yes. Problem is, my husband adores it. Sees no flaws. Doesn't think I need an editor. Especially after I already paid one, and was skeptical of her result.
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Swell! Now I'm paying for an edit by a professional I have real faith in, by saving up my weekly lunch money, so that the final check will be only one hundred dollars. I believe in my book. My Eberhard believes in it twice as much. He'll raise no stink over the publication costs. He is psyched about the history involved, and the science, and the humor, and the wit, he loves it all. Is that a good thing? Hell, I don't know. He thinks it's ready to go. I know it's not.
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--edited by Mimi Speike on 4/25/2014, 4:08 PM--
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Joined: 4/28/2014
Posts: 40
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I certainly do. My wife is also my editor. At times during the process of editing, she can be my worst enemy and other times my best friend. Sometimes within the same paragraph.
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