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Joined: 1/26/2012
Posts: 28
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It goes something like this:
I just wrote the most amazing word/sentence/dialogue/chapter/whatever the world has ever seen! I am a genius and the world shall fall at my feet!
(Two days later, reading the same word/sentence/dialogue/chapter/whatever...)
This is utter shite. I'm a moron. The whole thing needs to be scrapped, or better yet, burned, and no one ought ever see the evidence.
Does this ever happen to you? Tell me I'm not alone! How do you deal with it? And how do you separate the genius from the dungpile?
I'm constantly thrown into swings between complete confidence and devastating self-doubt. (About my writing. I'm not actually bipolar. I'm also not picking on people who are bipolar. It's a serious disease.) However, I find BC and other sites to be helpful, and I feel I honestly get the best feedback from this site, as some of the others feel more like everyone giving each other pats on the back to promote their own work. I'd also like to find a crit group locally, but I live in a small town and I'm shy. 
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Joined: 8/21/2011
Posts: 394
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I think anyone who spends any time creating anything goes through what you described: thinking it's the best work EVER one day, then wanting to trash/burn/shatter/paint over/delete it the next. Getting feedback from people in the same boat really does help. It took me 25 years to get up the courage to go back to taking an art class. Six years later, I'm still taking adult education classes in art and have found that being in the studio with other people has helped me tremendously. We feed off of each other's creativity and various levels of technical expertise. It is a constant learning process.
Same thing with Book Country. I had been working on my novels for years (decades, really, when I think about it) and had just last year or so, timidly asked a couple of people to read the works and give me feedback. When I read about this site, I joined it, but it took me a few months to get up the nerve to actually post a review (my first reviews were crap), a comment in a discussion thread, or any of my writing. Now, I find this site an incredible resource.
Do I still read over something I wrote and think, "what a piece of crap!"? Absolutely. But I also read over stuff and think, "Yes, that was pretty damn good."
Embrace the self-doubt. It's one of the forces that drives us to do better.
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Joined: 4/22/2012
Posts: 175
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Yep, definitely BTDT. I'm working on just not loving everything that I put down on paper, because it's much easier to look critically at it from someone else's perspective if I'm not invested in every single word. I think it's helped me out a lot to take that sort of "eh, it works for now" approach, both for that ease of critical thinking (and not feeling devastated if someone doesn't love some part of what I wrote) and because it means I'll actually throw something out there instead of agonizing over every key stroke.
Ella, I lived in Indiana - a little town just west of Indianapolis - for a couple of years, up until this past October (and then moved back to MI, my home state). Just curious whereabouts you are (I'd love to move back one day...wish I could do it just so we could start a crit group in person! ).
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Joined: 4/30/2011
Posts: 662
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From other writers I know, flip flopping from "Ohmigod! So awesome!" to "I suck! This is rubbish!" is totally normal, and pretty healthy. Going back and reading it the second time should drive you to improve upon it through revision and editing. Trust me, there is a reason why you should let writing sit.
I, on the other hand, never have the up moment. I think my writing is always craptastic, but I do it because I love it. The strange thing is, I've never had anyone tell me I suck at writing, I'm just super critical of myself. I've had people pull things away from me because I kept revising it. There comes a point where you need to have others look at it.
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Joined: 10/20/2011
Posts: 350
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I don't think there is a single author who hasn't thought this. Well, actually, considering complaints I've heard about some published novels (like "50 Shades") and after finish reading about a self-published author's egocentric tirade on a website, maybe there are a few authors who haven't thought like this.
But I have no doubt that we are our worst critics. There are times where that "it's utter crap" feeling has led me to better rewrites. And other times I've had to learn not to let it get the better of me. Or else I'd be agonizing over the same sentence for weeks. I think one of the hardest things to learn is to trust our talents.
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Joined: 3/12/2011
Posts: 376
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I've heard that the difference between an artist and a critic is that an artist can always see the mistakes they've made, where a critic sees the mistakes everyone else makes.
Yeah, BTDT, although in my case quite often I'm saying
'oh, god, this is such crap' when I'm writing it, but later on I say 'eh, it works and gets from one good scene to another'. What's really weird is when someone else reads the same scene and says 'yeah, this one is gold, but those on either side? Teh Suxx0r'.
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Joined: 1/26/2012
Posts: 28
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It's always nice to have people confirm that you're not insane
Seriously though, the responses here make a lot of sense. Probably having both sides are helpful to creating something, and all artists experience some form of this, like Angela said. I think part of the enjoyment of writing (for me, anyway) is that little high I get when I've really "got it." But, the doubt does make me tear down some things and re-create... maybe like Alexandria said, the key is knowing when to stop and let it be.
And @Nicki: I currently live near South Bend, in "Michiana," but I'm also a native Michigander. I'm originally from the farmlands north of Lansing. I would love to move back to Michigan someday, but alas, the economy and such... Maybe I'll just write some stories about living there instead.
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Joined: 5/22/2012
Posts: 4
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Mine comes and goes in spurts. It's usually the most inflamed when I'm drafting. When I put my editing hat on, however, it's usually a little more even-handed. Which is why I endeavor to never back-track when I'm drafting.
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Joined: 10/20/2011
Posts: 350
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@Ella "maybe like Alexandria said, the key is knowing when to stop and let it be. "
It's a lesson I found I had to learn over and over again. It's hard to know when but we figure it out in each scenario.
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I can tell you why it happens, unfortunately:
When you write it you hold the image in your mind, the one you literally live as you mentally run the scene and write it. So of course, when you read it back, every single line acts a pointer to the excitement, attitudes, images, and action that live in your mind. And it works. You see the small looks the character give each other. You know when the character hesitates and has their eye dart to glance at another character, in evaluation, before they respond. You hear the hesitations and inflections, know the nuances in voice and expression. But that doesn’t make to the page. What does is a notation that the overall physical event occurred. “She said…she saw…she did…”
So, a week later, when the image has faded you see the words more as the reader does. And for a reader, every single line acts a pointer to the excitement, attitudes, images, and action that live in your mind. And if they’re not in your mind any more think of the problem I’ll have with those words.
You’re running into a magnified version of why authors are advised to put their work aside for a week or a month, or more, before the final edit.
No offence meant, and I’m not saying this to insult you, but I looked at the opening to your story, and as I see it, you’re thinking cinematically, and describing what you visualize, not giving the reader the actual vision. The problem is that cinematic techniques, and verbal storytelling technique don’t work well in a medium that has neither sound and pictures.
What I’m saying is that in order to correct for that weakness in the medium there are lots of work-arounds that the pros use that we’re never taught in our basic schooling because only fiction writer need to even know they exist.
I’ve often been told I’m as one-trick-pony in my fixation on the idea that we need to do a lot more then simply have great story ideas, but here’s the thing: If we don’t love our prose, how can we expect the reader, who doesn’t have the advantage of knowing the story as they read, to even figure out that’s going on?
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Joined: 1/26/2012
Posts: 28
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@Jay Thank you so much for your response. I've actually taken a look at many of your reviews recently after reading a review you posted after one of mine. So, yes, I've noticed the recurring theme, and it's a little easier to take when it's not pointed directly at my work. Therefore, I'm not at all offended and have already taken your advice to heart. I've read the websites that you suggested and have begun working specifically on those skills, but if anything, I'm embarrassed that I don't already know those things. Because you're absolutely right-- I have learned and teach non-fiction techniques, not fiction. If anything, I think my academic work has killed some of the fiction writing talent I (maybe?) once had, but I'm always willing to learn. I want to learn; I just have to put aside my pride. So, your explanation makes sense.
Anyway, as a side note, I'm not sure which of my stories you looked at, but I've been putting more work into Café Trocadéro with those concepts in mind, though I know I have more work to do. The other I put out for general reactions, and may put more work into later, or when I run out of steam on the romance.
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