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Joined: 4/26/2011
Posts: 26
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My title for my urban fiction manuscript is Souled Out. I like the dual meaning. Ell's own sister turns against her (selling her out) in an attempt to permanently steal her soul. But I have been wondering if the title should just be Souled. Ell's job is to "read" souls by bringing them, one at a time, into her own body. And she feels kind of trapped in her life, feeling the lonely confines of working for vampires. Here is my long description for Souled Out:Ell Clyne was inducted on her eighteenth birthday as the Cypher, a human with the ability to borrow souls and foresee their future possibilities. In order to perform this duty for her vampire employers, she is left with a void right next to her heart where her own soul used to be. It seemed like the deal of an eternity, but when a vital secret is unearthed eight years after her initiation that Ell and her twin sister switched identities, she becomes a pawn in her own conspiracy. As the chaos climaxes, she finds herself hunted by the Mass, the vampires all monsters fear, and must figure out how to outwit her Judas sister and a witch from permanently hijacking her soul. Amidst burning down a house to prove a point and being abducted more times than a psychiatrist might recommend, Ell manages to fall for two men of the undead persuasion while struggling to emerge from a destructive personal impasse: self-loathing. Ell is explosive and sincere.
Would Souled be a better fit than Souled Out? Any thoughts would be fantabulous. Thank you.
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Joined: 4/26/2011
Posts: 26
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Thank you. I've been working on it for quite a while. The title and the manuscript. You may be right. Maybe I should keep Souled Out. That's what it has been from day one. I just wasn't sure if it threw people off. Thanks again!
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Joined: 3/12/2011
Posts: 376
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No. Souled Out does not suck. 
Actually, the title intrigued me more than the description. It sounds like an interesting story, but the description peters out and gets a little faux-witty at the end. IMHO you'd do better to tinker with the description than to change the title.
Which is actually pretty good.
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Joined: 4/26/2011
Posts: 26
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Thank you, Robert. I've reworked the description many times and it still isn't quite where it needs to be. (Yet.) I'm sitting down with a few projects tomorrow and will add this to the list, bump it to the top, and give it the evil eye it deserves... And play around with some new, stronger descriptions.
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Joined: 5/8/2011
Posts: 30
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I think misspelled pun-type titles only really work for comedy. And your book doesn't look liike it has a lot of laffs.
In B&N, I wouldn't pick up a book called SOULED OUT
Something like SOUL SISTER might catch my eye though.
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Joined: 4/26/2011
Posts: 26
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It is kind of a serious manuscript, but there are quirky parts throughout. The main character has an odd sense of humor to deal with stress. But I have totally been doing the same thing with the title. Would it catch someone in the bookstore? Online? My main focus, though, is trying to make it snazzy for an agent. A lot of people say the title doesn't really matter because the probability of it being changed later is high (if it gets picked up and published), but I think it still matters to a point. I'm sure most people (agents included) would be put off by a dreary, bla, bla, bla title.
Thank you for weighing in. Everyone here is helping me a lot.
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Joined: 4/26/2011
Posts: 26
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I was hesitant to change my long description completely, though I did wipe out my old short description and love the new one. I am still thinking about the long description, though, and plan to make major changes. I'm just cultivating ideas right now. Here is my short description, and a cleaned up version of the long one:
Ell Clyne traded fates and lost her soul. Now the vampires want answers. She just wants someone to trust.
Ell Clyne was inducted on her eighteenth birthday as the Cypher, a human with the ability to read souls. In order to perform this duty for her vampire employers, she has a void where her own soul used to be. When a vital secret is unearthed eight years later that Ell traded fates, she becomes a pawn in her own conspiracy. As the chaos climaxes, the vampires want answers, and Ell must figure out how to outwit her Judas sister and a witch from permanently hijacking her soul. Amidst burning down a house to prove a point and being abducted more times than a psychiatrist might recommend, Ell manages to emerge from her self-loathing and forge new bonds.
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