1. IN THAT SWEET COUNTRY - THE UNCOLLECTED WORKS OF HARRY MIDDLETON

These essays and articles provide models for my own description of the natural world and wilderness areas.

2. DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS - HOW TO DISCUSS WHAT MATTERS MOST

By Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen of the Harvard Negotiation Project. A guide to developing better relationships with others in all facets of life, and a way to think about characters, what they say and how that drives a story forward. 

Hi Perry--what a coincidence! I've been reading DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS in short stints for a few months now. Good stuff!

Did you see that the authors Sheila Heen and Doug Stone have another book out? They wrote a piece for us on feedback for the Book Country blog awhile back. It's tailor-made advice for writers seeking feedback (like the BC community is!).

Lucy,

I can believe you've been working through DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS by the nature of your posts on these forums. I read the blog entry some time ago, but did not make the connection with these authors. It makes sense, though.

At my day job I had a couple weeks of training in advanced negotiations from folks at CMPartners, a consulting firm with strong ties to the Harvard Negotiations Project. The training was the best I've had in my 40+ year career. It focused on interest-based negotiations strategies, resolving challenges in ways that best serve both (or all) parties. I got the book through the training program.

It isn't a "writing" book. I like what it says about communication styles of people, especially in tough situations, and how communications can be made more effective. Then it becomes a writing book when I use that information to develop dialogue, and when I have a character work his or her way through a difficult scene.

Very interesting use of this book, Perry!

As a writer I have to say that I have "difficult conversations" all the time, so it's a useful book for other writers to check out. I mean, think of all the rejection, disappointment, bruised egos that every writer faces. Then there's what we share with all creative types--that our work is also so incredibly personal to us. I think hurt feelings abound. Learning how to manage conversations with editors, beta-readers, agents, prospective agents or editors, publicists, cover designers--everyone in the business who might run the risk of misunderstanding who we are as writers and what we are trying to do--can be hard! Then, of course, there's your family and friends. All those people who say to you, "Are you still writing?" every Christmas, or ask how many books you've sold, or when you are going to publish, or whether or not the villain in your book is based on them . . . Communication skills are paramount if a writer wants to stay sane!

Have you read David Sedaris? I wonder if he faces a lot of difficult conversations with his family--he writes so hilariously about them, and yet, I'd be mortified if my brother told the stories of our childhood to millions of readers . . .

Lucy,

I haven't bought any books by David Sedaris, but it's the first thing I read when he had a piece in The New Yorker.

I don't have too many difficult conversations about my writing anymore. First, I'm writing for a small market and I know I'll never make a lot of money at it. Maybe a little bit of money, but not a lot. That's very freeing. Next, I've had good reviews from editors, publishers, and readers, and they have insulated me from the inevitable negatives. I've had more pieces accepted for publication in the last three years than I've had rejected. (If I could find the time to leave my day job, I could up my production maybe.)

The novel I'm working on slowly will be a good one, and if/when it's rejected by my first few choices of publishers, I'll keep on going, and eventually maybe go to self-publishing. But there are no difficult conversations in there for me.

Difficult Conversations is good too to teach us how to have what is a difficult conversation for another person. How do you tell him/her that their work isn't very good, and do it without making them angry, or depressed, or wanting to give up, or wanting to take your head off? That's where the book helps me.

Perry

Awesome attitude--I love it!

And agreed, re: giving feedback. Sometimes that is a VERY difficult conversation.