Joined: 7/21/2011
Posts: 40
|
I would love your feedback on my new long hook. (My short one is staying the same for now) Does it grab your attention? Make you want to read? Is there anything you recommend that I change?
Thanks a ton! 
The Deviants, British Columbia's most notorious gang, have been hired to kill Matthew Bryden. All evidence points to a clean and successful hit -- but was it really? Enter Hatch, a skilled undercover cop who is slowly infiltrating the Deviants. Will he maintain his guard and focus on his mission, even after his heart gets involved?
Emily is devastated when her childhood friend, Matthew ominously disappears. After a subsequent betrayal,she decides to rebuild her life in Willow Lake at the manor home she inherits from her late grandmother, Lillian, who was a femme fatal actress in the 1940’s. She soon discovers it isn't the sanctuary she hoped for.
Judy Flynn, raised in a trailer, was dealt a poor hand from the start, but the worst is yet to come after her brother, Russ, becomes a member of the Deviants. To complicate things, Judy begins to fall for Hatch, whose mission is to shatter everything she holds dear.
As evil events unfold, Emily and Judy’s lives are endangered while seeking the truth, and it rapidly becomes clear that not everything is as it seems, and not everyone is who they pretend to be.
|
Joined: 7/21/2011
Posts: 40
|
I've edited this once again
|
Joined: 2/27/2011
Posts: 353
|
Michelle -
That's not really a hook. It's a very long query. A hook is really just a tagline, one or two sentences to sum up the story OR cause a agent, editor or read to want to read more.
|
Joined: 7/21/2011
Posts: 40
|
Thanks Colleen! You are absolutely right. I have a short hook posted already. This is the expanded version that might appear on a book jacket, or in a query as you mentioned. I referred to it as a 'long hook', but I suppose I used the wrong lingo.
A EVP from Harlequin requested a sample of my work after a mutual friend recommended my work. She was impressed and would like me to submit to HQN's Mira line. I want to finish first and secure an editor and agent, as well as reach out to a few different publishers to find the right home for Willow Lake Manor. A query letter is next on my list, so if anyone has any suggestions, I would be most grateful.
Thanks again!
Michelle
|