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Quick question about sex scenes
Danielle Bowers
Posted: Thursday, March 31, 2011 2:52 AM
Joined: 3/16/2011
Posts: 279


I'm working on my first romance and I'm a little stuck.  Is there a formula for when to put a sex scene in?  1/3 of the way in?  The first chapter?  It doesn't matter?  The answer is probably that it doesn't matter but I want to be sure of that.

By the way, this is my first shot at writing a sex scene and my husband is sitting across the room cracking up laughing.  I guess my face is a little red or something.  Damned Irish skin.  

Ellie Isis
Posted: Thursday, March 31, 2011 11:45 AM
Joined: 3/4/2011
Posts: 58


I think it depends on the type of romance you're writing. If the characters are already established in a relationship, or if it's a sequel, then the sex can come in early. If, however, the relationships are building from scratch, then I'd probably keep the sexual tension mounting for at least half and possibly two-thirds of the book before having an actual sex scene.

I'm sure the romance writers here can give a better answer, though. I write sci-fi/romance, but I'm fairly new to that genre. In the two I've written, one sex scene comes on page 237 out of 314. In the other novel, it's on 209 out of 301. I think playing with the tension, having several false starts, wondering when the characters are FINALLY going to get it together, are some of the great draws of the romance genre.
Alexander Hollins
Posted: Thursday, March 31, 2011 4:08 PM
Joined: 3/13/2011
Posts: 412


this. alternately, if part of the theme is the MC having a hard time finding fulfilling sex, the sex can come early, if you're showing them having bad sex.
Danielle Bowers
Posted: Thursday, March 31, 2011 5:29 PM
Joined: 3/16/2011
Posts: 279


I like the idea of stringing the characters along so I'll go that route. If it gets too strung out I can always change things later. Thanks to my wonderful little reviewers I'm sure I'll get feedback if it's too much.

Thanks for the input guys, I'm so glad I can ask these questions here without feeling like a greenie.
Shannyn
Posted: Sunday, April 3, 2011 4:01 AM
Joined: 4/3/2011
Posts: 8


I don't think there's really a formula, but I read somewhere that the magic page number was 190 (for a single-title romance, not category) for the first time the H/H sleep together. I thought it was a joke, but then I actually looked at some books, and believe it or not, it happened right around page 190 or so. That of course changes if the characters have a past, like they're already friends or something. Give it a try with some of the books on your shelf. I was really surprised.
Colleen Lindsay
Posted: Monday, April 4, 2011 2:12 AM
Joined: 2/27/2011
Posts: 353


I'd also say that the lead up to the sex scene has to be just as good. For me, it's all about the longing beforehand. I've read some romances where the sex scene sort of pops up out of nowhere.
Danielle Bowers
Posted: Monday, April 4, 2011 2:52 AM
Joined: 3/16/2011
Posts: 279


Page 190? Seriously? I'm finally biting the bullet and writing my first sex scene tonight. Procrastinators unite! This book would be done already if I wasn't such a bloody prude. Of course trying to write romance with my children fighting two feet away is hard. (aka the walking birth control adverts).
Shannyn
Posted: Monday, April 4, 2011 5:08 AM
Joined: 4/3/2011
Posts: 8


NEVER try to write a good sex scene with kidlets around. It'll be rushed, a race to finish. I don't think I'd ever attempt to write that with my kids in the same room. Way too distracting. That being said, if the sex scene is giving you such a problem, maybe you don't need it. Plenty of authors do a great job with building the sexual tension and the want and then they fade to black and everything else is behind closed doors.
LisaMarie
Posted: Monday, April 4, 2011 8:20 AM
Joined: 3/16/2011
Posts: 214


I saved my sex scenes for last. Has nothing to do with being a prude, they're just difficult to:

1) set up;
2) execute (shiver!); and
3) resolve

... in a way that makes sense.

Colleen mentions the sex scene that pops out of nowhere. Grrrr. Do not like. I like mucho sizzle before the actual deed.
Danielle Bowers
Posted: Monday, April 4, 2011 12:30 PM
Joined: 3/16/2011
Posts: 279


I'm just being silly and making things a lot harder than they need to be. I have the scenes written out in my head and now the first one is on paper
Alexander Hollins
Posted: Monday, April 4, 2011 7:07 PM
Joined: 3/13/2011
Posts: 412


Lisa, my first sex scene in my current wip has a bit of sizzle between two MC's, and then, POP, a sex scene between one MC and a person we've never met before, showing a secret lover. Does that fall in your do not like zone as well?
LisaMarie
Posted: Tuesday, April 5, 2011 3:46 AM
Joined: 3/16/2011
Posts: 214


@Alexander

Well, not if you’re writing a romance. But I don’t think that you are – are you? ☺

If it’s a romance, I like sex between the two leads only. Anything else feels too jarring, and it takes me out of the “romance” aspect of the tale. I have about … lemme count ‘em … four “seriously simmering” moments prior to The Deed. After which everything goes to hell in a handbasket because of those “misunderstandings” that every romance must have. I just thought about how things would realistically play out for the most part.

Danielle Poiesz
Posted: Tuesday, April 5, 2011 4:53 PM
This is a great question. And while some people do see it as a somewhat formula-based thing (i.e. page 190), I disagree...to an extent. I think it will vary book to book--it's all about when the characters are ready to take that step. However, it IS a romance novel so you definitely need to make sure the heat and chemistry is there even sans sex. I will say though that I've edited many romance novels where the sex SHOULD have happened much sooner than it did. In general I wouldn't go more than halfway through the book before your hero and heroine take a nice little roll in the hay--or at least get ridiculously close and then having an obstacle pop up. Like I said, it depends...sort of LOL

I agree with LisaMarie on this one--try to keep the sex between the two leads only for romance. Gotta keep the focus on your hero/heroine because that is the heart of your story.
Danielle Bowers
Posted: Tuesday, April 5, 2011 5:14 PM
Joined: 3/16/2011
Posts: 279


Time to fess up, I wimped out and went fade to black on the uploaded version. I actually have the scenes in but...

Steph linked me some great blogs about the subject so for now it's staying fade to black until I can put my big girl panties on and deal with it.

With Bon Voyage at least I have the secondary plotline of the stalker that will take up a lot of the second half of the book. Time to dig out my 'I'm going to scare the poo out of everyone' hat.

Thank you everyone for your advice, it really helped me work this out.
Shannyn
Posted: Wednesday, April 6, 2011 2:41 AM
Joined: 4/3/2011
Posts: 8


It's not wimping out. It's what works for you. There are lots of NY Times best-selling authors who do fade to black because they don't think they can write a decent sex scene. It's better not to write it than to write a bad one.
Danielle Bowers
Posted: Thursday, April 21, 2011 9:29 PM
Joined: 3/16/2011
Posts: 279


Well, I did it. As soon as I can update Bon Voyage it's getting a massive overhaul, complete with sex. All you erotic writers can pat my head and laugh at my very non-explicit sex scenes, but I'm pretty happy about overcoming that particular hang-up.
NoellePierce
Posted: Sunday, May 1, 2011 1:03 PM
Joined: 3/14/2011
Posts: 226


It gets a *little* easier with practice. I couldn't write one to save my life in the first novel (though the make-out and tension-filled scenes were abundant), but in the second, it was a marriage of convenience and I couldn't actually come up with a reason why they wouldn't. In that one, I have to admit, I was writing fast (for NaNoWriMo) and my hero was a horny bastard who wouldn't talk to me at all unless he got ANOTHER sex scene. There are like four or five in the first seven chapters (many will get cut, not to worry). After that, writing the general set-up and deed got a little easier. They're not great yet, but I have high hopes.

The main thing is that the tension needs to be there. Tension is what carries all my favorite romances, and they don't need to have explicit sex in the entire book if the tension is high and they get glimpses of how it will be (during kissing, fondling, etc.). Fading to black would be fine with me.
Ellie Isis
Posted: Monday, May 9, 2011 8:54 PM
Joined: 3/4/2011
Posts: 58


I will confess, the "fade to black" style drives me crazy. I know it's popular with some authors and readers, but after all the tension, drama, false starts, etc., when they close the door on the actual act, I feel cheated.
Danielle Bowers
Posted: Monday, May 9, 2011 9:26 PM
Joined: 3/16/2011
Posts: 279


I've been forcing myself to write them now, much in the same way I took flying lessons to overcome my fear of flying. Yeah, they are pretty vanilla and kind of lame, but it's better than fade to black.
DJS
Posted: Friday, December 27, 2013 8:21 AM
Danielle: Sex scenes happen in books just like in real life. Believe it or not, describing sexual intercourse is not science fiction. Back when I was older than I am today, if the kind of book you read with one hand didn't deliver a sex scene by page thirty I stopped reading. And by the way, don't put it in one third of the way. Put it all in.